It was a day that might have lived in infamy -- but didn't; the surprise attack on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese caught President Bill Clinton completely off guard.

"I didn't know they were going to do that", he said bluntly at a hastily called press conference, "and I'm glad they did" he added, prancing about with an odd grin and nodding, "because, well, you really do find out who your friends are, don't you?" he quipped, with raised eyebrows and wrinkled forehead.

That the Japanese would attack a major US military base without warning or seeming justification had seemed implausible one day earlier, but as much of the pacific fleet lay smoking and in ruin, the reality of the event was sinking in, and the country intently watched the President as he carefully chose his words in the hastily called but carefully orchestrated press conference.

Looking the country in the eye, he began to speak; "If the Republican's hadn't closed all the military bases I would be able to do something about this" he said, carefully pausing for emphasis, adding with raised voice and some anger "that's right, they closed all the bases!" and pounding the podium once, concluding "We will get through this together", paralleled by six more pounds to the podium.

Network television pundits were quick to both criticize and praise the President; ranging from Coky Robert's "I'm not sure he was tough enough, given the gravity of the situation" to Eleanor Clift's "Well what can he do?  Republicans have controlled the congress for six long years".

Less than a week later Ms. Clift's rhetorical question would be answered, as US ships and planes found their revenge with the launch of 15 cruise missiles aimed at what the President said were "strategic Japanese targets".  Nine, however, fell on a schoolyard, killing a single school crossing guard, and the rest hit an apparent barren spot high on Mt. Fuji.

At a following press briefing, the White House released the statement "We took all precautions to limit civilian casualties and we regret the loss of life. We believe this attack was effective and accomplished the goals that we set", but a few journalists were noticably agitated about the course of the response, Sam Donaldson calling out "What military significance is there in a japanese schoolyard?", the White House spokesperson responding "Our intelligence tells us these attacks were very effective".

 Even given a formal complaint by Japanese environmentalists of damage to a rare Fuji Owl refuge, all seemed going well for the President who's next mission was a trip to Japan to "patch things up", extracting an "I'm sorry" from the Japanese Premier, and with this chapter now closed (short of two more minor attacks with apologies on US ships and installations that took few U.S. lives), the nation continued to live in relative peace through the end of Mr. Clinton's term.

 Footnote: Clinton friends would later lobby for a Nobel peace prize, but hopes would soon be dashed by a Mat Drudge expose and video footage of a Presidential coffee with the Japanese foreign minister three days before the attack and six days prior to a several million dollar contribution to the first lady's NY senate campaign fund. "There was no quid pro quo" was the former president's released response, and the country hardly even noticed, with attention focused on the new Republican president engaged in a battle at Midway.